HUIYI LEE

To believe or not to
Guess who did so badly for her mother tongue common test?!
Aha, HuiYi! :D
I know it's nothing to be so glamourous or proud of cos
i was so sad and dissapointed, really. :((((
Everyone around me were getting good grades
and yet, mine turned out to be the last paper which means...the lowest???
I was trying hard to fight back my tears during lesson
but i couldn't, luckily Shermain didn't see it.
I'm so emo today!!! Well, maybe due to last night's
problem which made me cried like tons. =X

My results which does not only include Chinese,
made me lose so much confidence in myself, so much
hope. I sometimes feel like giving up seriously.
Acadamically, friendship, etc all these are some major
setbacks and obviously aren't doing any good for me.
I really feel like giving up my post as an ex-co member
and just give it to the desperate guy- hafiz, let him be the junior head of
publicity department, let him do all the ding-dong stuff... ...

I'm scared of everything now. I'm scared that i would score badly
for ALL of my subject, i have a sudden feeling
that i would simply just fail everything. I know people
would be thinking, " Wha lao, siao ar?!".
But i just couldn't control my feelings towards everything
now. I just feel like crying out loud and hope everything would be
back to normal after that.

Friendship; I talked to you in MSN last night
to clarify some misunderstanding. You seemed
angry. When you said that i'm making you cry,
i just couldn't typed anymore but to go offline.
I called Eugenia after that.
Right after i said, " Hello, can i speak to Eugenia?",
i broke down. I can hear that Eugenia was really
shocked and kept on asking me to calm myself down.
I really cried, i was really sad for the first time
because of friendship problems.
I just couldn't understand why you didn't confront us
but you rather tell a person that doesn't know you longer
than us. I'm not trying to say that you couldn't tell her
but i used to believe that our friendship is really
strong and steady. For me, i would share with you all my
secrets until there's nothing more of it to say.

The next morning, i came to school.
Looking at you makes me awkward.
Maybe you would think why i'm so quiet,
is it because of you? But i seriously just have nothing
much to say and joke about when my mood was in a
bad condition.

If i'm angry and thinks that i'm right,
i wouldn't cry. But this time, i cried not because
i'm not angry but i'm really sad.
All of the above are true, trust me. ;)

So after some emo last night,
i heard the bad news for my Chinese,
i couldn't take it but wept some tears.
Then, i thought of my Science results
which is as bad as my Chinese and slowly...
my thoughts run wild.

I sometimes really want to really go crazy
and laugh till my head drops like what i used to be...

I've lose faith in myself. :'(
I hope Monday would be a better day for me
in school, i really hope.