I really am frustrated with everything now in my life. Fucking don't know why. I guess it's accumulative. The thing is, I don't know what I want. & I don't like my parents being so kpo about my friends. I don't want to study anymore. How I wish my dad would read my blog just like how Shermain's dad does. Makes everything hell lot easier. I know i know i know I'm at fault too, because I don't always tell you all things. I'd rather keep things to myself. Same to my friends. Reason? None.
I know I haven't been spending time with my family. Yes, my fault. Band takes up most of my time and I thoroughly enjoy myself when I'm with my bandsmen. When there's no band, I'll meet up with my girlfriends. None for my family. Evidently, it's my fault and I apologise.
But muatha fucker when I realised I need to spend more time with my family, they fucking hell shoot sacarstic phrases at me. Wtf, you think I don't feel hurt meh? Knn. It makes me feel even more like not spending time with you all, you understand?! Then stupid questions blah blah blah. Wha piang, cannot take it anymore.
Another thing, I'm also very angry with myself. Like why did I agree to go JC when I know I can do much better in Poly. Not saying that Poly is much easier but my capabilities are much suited for it rather than JC. Why did I study so hard in Secondary School? Why did I set high expectations for myself back then? I am not smart. Argh fucking don't know how to explain lah.
My future. Is so freaking bleak. I don't know what to do! It's like I know what I'm interested in but father has a lot of crap regarding it. Yes, it's true but why can't we just enjoy our life with your favourite job and not bother how much you can earn in one month.
I mean, I totally understand his point lah. Aiya fuck lah.
Main point is, I freaking don't know what I want.
Someone help me please.
Friday, December 25, 2009
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2 comments:
hey girl (:
cool down, i understand how you feel.
been through the same things for like countless of times already,
especially the family time thing.
sometimes it's really hard to juggle our time.
CCA, sec sch friends, jc friends.
it's not like we can meet them all the time so we tend to keep going out with them.
we're still young and we just wanna enjoy more time with our friends, esp we don't get to see them as frequently as our parents, whom we've seen for 17 year.
but our parents think differently because they've outgrown our stage already.their comments may be hurtful but just follow me, one ear in and one ear out. alright? merry christmas :D
Thanks a lot. :)
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